Milestone-Proposal talk:Rice Cookers
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Advocate for this proposal -- John Vardalas (talk) 21:04, 3 June 2021 (UTC)[edit | reply | new]
My name is John Vardalas. I am the History Committee's Advocate for this proposal. I look forward to working with you to get this proposal approved.
The Rice Cooker is an intriguing candidate for an IEEE Milestone. The apparent simplicity of the Rice Cooker belies a rather complex process to cooking rice automatically. Automatic rice cookers have greatly improved the domestic lives of people throughout Asia. The main challenge now is to identify expert reviewers who are able to comment on the engineering aspects claimed in this proposal, the commercialization story related in this proposal, and the social history of the rice cooker in Japan. At a minimum, two reviewers will be required. Finally, one has to be assured that the references provided substantiate the claims made in this proposal.
As the new advocate for the rice coolers milestone proposal (taking over from Vardalas) I offer the following initial comments based on a first quick read...
Two sections are missing content: "1) Describe briefly the intended site(s)....." and 2) Please give the addresses..." It might also be good to provide the GPS coordinates as suggested on the form.
Grammar - sentence beginning "The historical significance not only on the" "Not only on" does not read correctly; perhaps change "on" to "of".
Section 3 History....maybe change the bullets to alpha numbering s as to not be confused with the other numbering used.
In the sentence beginning "Eventually" delete the word "anyhow".
In the Sentence beginning "In the early..." maybe add "developers after the word "cookers". Also, make "Cookers" singular.
In the paragraph beginning "Eventually..." maybe change "anyhow" to "earnestly"
In the paragraph beginning "The 'electric..." maybe change "on board" to "on ships".
In the paragraph beginning "This article also touches...." remove the brackets from Induction Heating and instead add the brachets to the abbreviation "IH". maybe also reverse the order of the full term and its abbreviation.
In place of the terms "desperate" and "desperately" maybe consider using "earnest" and "earnestly". This avoids a potential negative connotation associated with "desperate"
I like the proposal and encourage you to pursue it with passion.
Regards Dave Kemp