Milestone-Proposal talk:Electric Lighting Of The Kingdom of Hawaii 1886-1888
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Minor copy edits -- Allisonmarsh (talk) 20:41, 10 September 2017 (UTC)
I think this milestone citation looks good. The only (very minor) changes I would suggest would be to lowercase the "of" in the title and to put the date into the IEEE format (day month year).
Otherwise, I support moving this milestone to committee for discussion and approval.
Re: Minor copy edits -- Administrator4 (talk) 14:36, 11 September 2017 (UTC)
Re: Re: Minor copy edits -- HI Electric Lighting (talk) 23:38, 14 September 2017 (UTC)
- The dates of the subject Milestone Proposal have been put into IEEE format (day month year).
However, no editing option for the Milestone-Proposal title to revise "Of" to lower case "of". Let me send an email to Mr. Colburn for his advice and follow up with appropriate action. Thank you, ST
Editing Milestone-Proposal Title -- HI Electric Lighting (talk) 02:03, 16 September 2017 (UTC)
In collaboration with the site owner, Friends of Iolani Palace, we propose to make another adjustment to the original title with one (1) minor change to a lower case from "The" to "the" and deleting "1886-1888". Submitted is the new, edited title, Electric Lighting of the Kingdom of Hawaii.
With this edited Milestone-Proposal Title, Electric Lighting of the Kingdom of Hawaii, the citation is accepted and approved by the proposer.
Re: Editing Milestone-Proposal Title -- Administrator4 (talk) 19:49, 21 September 2017 (UTC)
IEEE Milestone format is to put the year in the title of the milestone.
Comments on Milestone citation -- Jason.k.hui (talk) 13:10, 23 September 2017 (UTC)
I have reviewed the proposed citation and I don't get the sense of the historical significance of the achievement. The citation essentially lists several facts. It would be good it it could add something (noted below) to the citation:
"The king's action inspired the technical industry and accelerated implementation of the new technology in the Kingdom of Hawaii then and the State of Hawaii today. This award acknowledges King Kalakaua's foresight and achievement in bringing electric lighting to Hawaii."
Suggest either the History Committee edit the citation or send it back to the proposers for update.
- 1 Minor copy edits -- Allisonmarsh (talk) 20:41, 10 September 2017 (UTC)
- 2 Editing Milestone-Proposal Title -- HI Electric Lighting (talk) 02:03, 16 September 2017 (UTC)
- 3 Comments on Milestone citation -- Jason.k.hui (talk) 13:10, 23 September 2017 (UTC)